Don’t Let That Man Outdo You

When I learned that I was pregnant I prayed for a boy.  Shamefully I admit that I even mourned my “son” when my grandmother accidentally revealed the true sex of my little bundle of joy.  Who knew that the reason I didn’t give birth to a son had nothing to do with chromosomes?  I didn’t have a son because I’m not woman enough!  And all this time I’ve been inappropriately placing blame on the slow swimming boys who just couldn’t keep up with the ladies.  Huh. Go figure.

Does this sound like a bunch of foolishness to you too?

Well to the 70 year-young mother of 5 adult men it is a proven theory that “real” women birth men.  When she let me in on the secret I didn’t know whether to be offended or laugh myself senseless.  Decision made.  I laughed my tail off!  She probably reckoned that I was some silly little girl who didn’t know any better so she left me with this little nugget:  “See, you can’t let that man outdo you.”  Now I’m looking at this very beautiful, but elderly, woman and thinking to myself what kind of moves was – or is, you never know – this lady putting on her man?

Without venturing into TMI, I’d say my husband and I have a healthy marriage and if you’ve had the pleasure of being loved by a Leo then you know that this theory is a bunch of foolery.  Or is it?

I shared Grandma Spicy’s theory with a couple of colleagues, a couple of whom had only given birth to boys and but of course they agreed with the theory.  Each recalled the very day they conceived their sons claiming that the conceiving moment is a memory etched in their minds because of the show they each claimed to have put on for their husbands.  Even a few of the women who had  a child of each gender agreed with Grandma Spicy’s theory.

Is this an old wives tale that the women in my family failed to share in an effort to spare themselves the embarrassment of having to admit that they’re a bunch of rigid slouches in the bedroom?  Or should I revisit my first thought in believing that this is a bunch of rubbish.

Of course I brought this to the attention of my husband, whose mother has given birth to two sons and two daughters.  So presumably she was only a slouch half of the time.  Surprisingly, he too agreed and quickly followed his assent up with the offer to allow me the opportunity to prove Grandma Spicy wrong!  This guy…

Thanks to Grandma Spicy my life and my husbands life, at least for the next few months, has been changed in a major way. I now view mothers in a completely new light.  When I see a mother pushing a set of twin boys, I think, Damn.  What kind of tricks has she pulled out of the bag to not “let that man” outdo her?  Hubby gets to benefit from the words of wise 70 year-young woman.  I can’t let him outdo me.  I’m hell bent on demystifying Grandma Spicy’s theory.  Check mate.

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5 comments

  1. Anonymous

    Idk about grandma Spicy’s theory as I can only remember pulling my “Ciara” out for our first born O.o oh wait & our second. Lolol Grandma Spicy might just be correct!

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