He’s Had Better

High school for me is reminiscent of house parties, prom, football games, testing the waters – intermittently “waters” tinged with marijuana and rebellion – and of course boys, especially the hormone laden scheming kind.  These high school memories are not mine alone, I share these memories with a high school friend who had more than enough experiences with boys, especially the hormone laden, conniving, scheming kind.

My girlfriend and I recently laughed at our many experiences that back then were more tearful than hilarious.  Her long-time high school sweetheart (“long-time” in high school was a whooping 6 months or longer) had cheated on her.  Since I’m well out of high school it’s now safe for me to confess that after we learned of his cheating we semi-stalked the guy to get a glimpse of his new girl who had to obviously be very special if he’d risk losing my friend (because high school guys are so deep and give such significant thought to the consequences of their actions).

We went looking for trouble and we found her, and him, at the skating rink.  We were shocked to see that she was a two-eyes-nose-and-a-mouth-kind-of-a-girl.  This in our cool, high school lingo meant that she was a Plan Jane.  No shimmer.  No shine.  Just plan.  This discovery only revved us up.  He cheated on you with her?  Wtf? (Sorry Mom, but the f-bomb was also a staple in our high school vocabulary.)

Partiality aside, that young lady was certainly not unattractive, just not as special and shiny as my girlfriend.  If she’d been a piece (another term frequently used in high school.  I’m having fun now.  Maybe I’ll break out an old pair of Saucony sneakers or burnt orange Wallabees!), I would’ve shrugged and offered my girl a consoling pat on the back.  While I’m sure she had a wonderful personality and great girlfriend qualities, she wasn’t what most would have then described as a piece.  That only added insult to injury.  I’m sure I sound shallow recalling my teenaged thoughts and experiences but at that time we were only thinking about the shame and embarrassment that my friend would never get over (she got over it in a week when she met her new boyfriend) once everyone found it she’d been cheated on with a Plan Jane!

Now here we are over a decade later and I don’t believe that our feelings on the matter have changed very much.  Our stalking tendencies have definitely tapered off but only because we can’t drive the streets with our toddlers in tow.  Instead we do it within the confines of our own homes where we can keep an eye on the children while spying our way through Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.  Hello 21st century technology!

Perhaps our fretfulness over whom our ex is dating is actually an unspoken insecurity.  To have an opinion or sensitivity about an ex dating someone who doesn’t meet your standards is quite odd.  Let’s face it:  Most of us aren’t usually concerned about the happiness our roaming ex has found with his/her new mate.  If an ex is seeing someone who, according to our infinite wisdom , is not up to par, it may be an implicit reflection of our own insecurity.  Just maybe we collect stock in the choices of our ex’s because our ex’s did, after all, choose to be with us.  So either the ex may feel his new mate is keeping in line with his/her standards or the mate is, heavens forbid, an upgrade!


…My personal belief is that maybe his new chick is wack and somewhere during the course of our relationship he realized he couldn’t hang.   His self-esteem took a tremendous blow and this new chick is the best he could do.  Well, at least he’s had better at one point in his life.  He can die a happy and fulfilled man. 😉

Disclaimer:  This post was published in complete fun.  We are not stalkers and we aren’t not cool enough to have neither a Twitter or Instagram account.  Hope you enjoyed it.



  1. pooh

    Oh the joys of high school! I recently heard some co-workers discussing the fact that their ex’s new piece was far from a trophy. I guess Plain Janes are still reassuring, lol.

    • Anonymous

      My word! I never ever would have thought of such a thing my Sweet Baby Girl could do. I just grateful it all turned out well.

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