Mommy Dearest

I feel guilty about popping my child.  Feeling guilty also sometimes makes me feel soft or as if I’m doing my child an injustice.  At the first sign of disobedience: too long of a linger when I command for her to do as I say, out the corner of my eyes family members are shaking their heads or urging me to spank her.

For what exactly?

She’s fresh off of her second birth date and very impressionable.  I don’t want her to grow up believing that when she’s angered, annoyed, or defied she is to lash out by yelling or hitting.  That behavior is unacceptable and I’m not one of those parents who will taut, “do as I say and not as I do.”  Foolishness.  Seeing is far better than hearing.  Do as you see me do until you’re old enough to truly decipher right from wrong.  For now I will show and tell her what is right and what is wrong.

Of course I discipline her.  But, I fashion discipline in the form of communication, stern looks, and, not proud to say, but yelling from time-to-time.  She is not too young to understand what I am saying to her. I give my child the credit she deserves: she is “smarter than the average bear” and understands when I speak to her. If she were older I would probably be more comfortable with physical punishment, but to be honest, even then I’d prefer to talk and have her let her voice be heard.

Am I soft? No. Well maybe a little, but she’s my baby.  No one child is like the other and I happen to know better than anyone, her father included, what works for my child.  She is intelligent.  She is spicy.  She is her mother’s child – brilliant that is!  As such, she does not respond well to physical punishment, but more so to vocal reinforcement and affirmations that she can and will listen; she is a good girl; she is a great helper and a loving and well-loved and liked, child.

I want to be a good role model and for me that doesn’t include a “pop” for every time that she does not move as quickly as I would like or poops in her pants for the second day in a row.  Perhaps I would reconsider if she were a different child or if I were a different mother, but she’s not and nor am I.

What’s your parenting style?




  1. Anonymous

    Amen! I think spankings come from frustrations & lack of patience. My husband always says the boys “punk me” because I don’t spank them every time he feels I should. I loved this post & I’m glad I’m not the only colored girl so far past the “spank” kids first ask questions later phenomenon.

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